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The Catching of the Wolf.
By jon | January 30, 2009
Detective Josh Wolfcatcher grimaced at the dart’s board and through.
A dart flew threw the air like Owen Wilson in a fighter jet. ‘Cross the smoke filled detective office. Through the window, moon shined on the moonshine. On the table were Detective Wolfcatcher’s three favorite types of shots: Vodka, Burbon, and Mug.
Wolfcatcher stared at the mug shot. “Im going to haul you to wear no wear can hear you scream. That is: Jail Street.”
He through a second dart. Nine of spades. The dart board rittled and rattled against the wall like Yo La Tango.
Much like darts, Wolfcatcher’s eyes darted from the dart board back to the mug shot. He knew nearly a name, but he knew the face. The face was everywear you look in this crap drenched city. He was known only as the Vicinity Killer.
The Vicinitiy Killer had killed score’s of tax payers. Salts of the Earth. Guys driving Nissans. Ladies buying Swiffers. Small children grossly eating there Dunkaroos. To the Vicinty Killer, they did not matter. They Anti-Mattered.
Detective Wolfcatchers eyes thwarted with frustration. He remembered the note posted on the last victim:
So pardon me while I burst
into flames.
I’ve had enough of the world
and its people’s mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn
and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me…
I’ll never be the same!
- The Vicinity Killer
“Their has to be a pattern,” said Wolfcatcher to the butt-empty office. He turned. He throughout another dart.
Bullseye.
And it was then that Detective Wolfcatcher saw the pattern. Three darts, stuck into the board like impossible to get out ice cubes in the ice tray because your parents are too poor to get an ice maker like Brandons dad. The darts made a triangle; in the Abstract sense, that is. Wolfcatcher fumbled for his map that said VICINITY KILLER KILLINGS. Three killings. One triangle.
Wolfcatcher had Cracked the Case. “I’ve got you know, Vicity Killer.” He put on his Hilfigers and ran out of the door like a door store out of door’s.
———————–
Detective Wolfcatcher found the Vicicinity Killer in a house across town, quietly doing Hobbies. “The gag is up. Ive found you, Vincent Killer.”
Vincent Killer took off his sky mask. “Crap.”
“Why did you do it. You killed Olden Polynice. He was old and probly nice.”
“Well now hes dead and probly dead.”
Wolfcatcher cuffed the cuffs on Vincent. “Have fun in Jail House Alley, buttmunch.”
Vincent smiled. He said some weird thing from the beginning of the story.
Topics: By: Jon | 2 Comments »
February 1st, 2009 at 3:28 pm
lllllloooooollll @ the incubus lines.
also, ice trays fucking blow
February 5th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
This is great. I love that bingo three darts make a triangle and it all comes together.